


Many Meetings

by triste



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle, xxxHoLic
Genre: Crossover, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 04:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triste/pseuds/triste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuuko's clients make an unexpected visit and it's up to Watanuki to play the host.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Title: Many Meetings  
Author: Triste  
Fandom: xxxHolic/Tsubasa Chronicle  
Pairings: Probable Doumeki/Watanuki, Kurogane/Fai and Syaoran/Sakura  
Rating: PG  
Status: Work in progress (part 1/?)  
Disclaimer: Not mine

~~

While Watanuki kept himself busy by raking the front yard one afternoon, he thought he'd finally grown more or less accustomed to the weird and wonderful place that was Yuuko's little shop of wishes, but when the sky above suddenly began to darken, Watanuki was reminded that there were still a great many things that made him wonder if his life hadn't just been one long hallucination.

However, since this current occurrence wasn't an attempt by the heavens to suck him in before he was ready to give up his life on this earth but rather an attempt for whatever was travelling by to spit something out, Watanuki supposed that on a scale of one to ten, this present coming danger was most likely bordering between an eight and a nine, but that didn't mean he couldn't start panicking.

Watanuki wondered if Yuuko would even hear him if he called for help, let alone come to his aid. It wouldn't have surprised him if she'd drank herself into a coma already, and the fact that she hadn't yelled for any more snacks or refreshments for the last thirty minutes could either mean that she was caught up in old re-runs of Doraemon or that she'd snuck off into one of those weird portals again.

As the air around him began to grow heavy with some sort of invisible pressure, Watanuki steeled his courage to at least pretend that he was about to defend himself from pending doom, but as he watched the sky continue to twist and swirl, Watanuki was struck by a sense of familiarity. It was like a scene that he'd witnessed once before but shoved firmly away with the rest of his unwanted memories, and when the ground beneath his feet began to shake, Watanuki remembered all too clearly the heralding of these particular signs.

A burst of light made him shield his eyes instinctively, and when he uncovered them again it was to see a group of the same four people who had given him the biggest shock in his life just a few months previously when they'd fallen seemingly out of nowhere and landed safely into Yuuko's clutches (though Watanuki would never dare to say that out loud).

"Ah, you came!" Yuuko's voice called, making Watanuki clench his teeth as she popped her head out from behind the veranda doors.

"You knew you were expecting guests and you never thought to tell me first?" he hissed, all too aware of the stares he was receiving, but Yuuko beamed brightly, unaware of Watanuki's embarrassment.

"Now, now, it's good to have a little excitement once in a while."

The rest of Yuuko emerged then and Watanuki finally understood why she'd gone so long without giving out any orders to her reluctant part-time help. She was wearing the same outfit she'd had on the last time potential customers had literally dropped by, but why she'd spent so much time on putting on such elaborate clothing was a mystery to Watanuki considering these particular consultations never tended to last very long.

Still, even Yuuko's fancy costumes paled in comparison to what the people in front of him were wearing, and Watanuki's head began to throb the way it always did whenever he tried to entertain the concept of alternate dimensions. At least he could recall one of the visitors' names as his eyes strayed to the person in question, the youngest and shortest male who Yuuko had called Syaoran. Watanuki couldn't remember what the other two were called, nor could he remember the name of the girl who had first arrived unconscious and near death but now seemed much more lively and alert, though he recognised what had brought them here all too well.

"Yuuko!" it trilled, bouncing into the witch's waiting arms. "It's been so long!"

"It has indeed!" Yuuko exclaimed. "I've missed you so much, Mokona! My, how you've grown!"

Watanuki was tempted to point out that the white thing looked exactly the same as the last time they'd seen it but he kept his mouth shut, unwilling as he was to attract any extra attention. In any case, its black twin had chosen to pop up so that the three of them could have their happy reunion, complete with cooing and nuzzling.

"I hate to break things up," a lilting voice spoke, drawing Watanuki's curious gaze to the thin blond man with the mysterious smile, "but may I ask exactly how we managed to get back here?"

"Mokona wanted to be with Yuuko again!" the white manjuu claimed happily. "Mokona thinks everyone should take time off for rest and relaxation!"

"You're saying that this is supposed to be a *vacation*?" the tall dark-haired one snorted, glaring at Yuuko with obvious distrust. "Are you sure she didn't bring us here on purpose so that she can suck out more of our lifeblood?"

"She doesn't suck your blood," Watanuki mumbled to himself. "She just injects it with her poisonous fangs, that's all."

"Poisonous fangs!" chimed Maru, prancing over to Watanuki's left.

"Poisonous fangs!" echoed Moro, waltzing over to his right.

"Don't think I can't hear you over there!" Yuuko cautioned.

Watanuki cringed and Maru and Moro giggled.

"Um - excuse me?" the boy Watanuki recognised as Syaoran began hesitantly. "We really ought to be moving on again if there are no feathers in this world."

"Agreed," the dark-haired man said gruffly.

"Don't be like that," the blond chided. "We should do as Mokona says and take a break!"

"I think so too," the young girl stated. "We need to at least thank Yuuko-san for everything she's done for us!"

"Then it's decided!" said Yuuko, clapping her hands with glee. "We'll even throw a party to celebrate your return!" She turned to Watanuki and beckoned him over. "Now, before we get everything ready, let's make all the introductions. Here we have Maru and Moro -" she gestured to them in the background and they curtseyed "- and this is Watanuki Kimihiro."

The blond was first to introduce himself, holding out a hand for Watanuki to shake and saying, "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Fai D. Florite, but since it's such a long one, you can just call me Fai."

"Nice to meet you, Fai-san," Watanuki replied obediently, nodding his head in acknowledgement before turning to the next in line.

"Kurogane," the man dressed in black grunted, keeping both arms folded stubbornly across his chest. Watanuki didn't really mind his rudeness. In actual fact, he was secretly glad that he wouldn't have to shake the hand of someone so unsettling, but he bowed politely anyway.

"I'm Syaoran," the third member of the group announced, his warm smile putting Watanuki at ease somewhat as he gestured towards the girl beside him, "and this is Princess Sakura."

"Princess?!" Watanuki repeated in amazement, quickly bowing so low that he was almost bent right in half, unsure as to what the appropriate manner of greeting royalty actually was but keeping his head lowered out of respect and humility as he stuttered, "It's an honour, Your Highness!" cursing the unnatural highness of his voice that came as a result of nervousness and uncertainty.

"Please raise your head!" Sakura told him quickly, sounding almost as nervous as Watanuki felt. "I don't need such formalities!"

Watanuki looked up doubtfully, and she smiled in reassurance.

"Please," she said again, "just call me 'Sakura-chan' and I'll call you 'Watanuki-kun', okay?"

Watanuki still didn't think he deserved such a privilege but Yuuko was already draping herself over his shoulders and stroking his chin and generally treating him in much the same manner as a favourite pet.

"Now we have all that out of the way, let's get ready for our celebrations! Watanuki, you'll take care of making the food!"

She ushered everyone else away, leaving Watanuki in the yard with his despair. Any party took a tremendous amount of careful planning, but Yuuko was expecting him to whip up fabulous fancies on such short notice? And what was he actually supposed to *cook* for them? Watanuki had witnessed the black Mokona occasionally sending Yuuko 'scrumptious treats' via its mouth from whichever world Syaoran and the others had happened to be dwelling in at the time, and all of them had been as weird and wonderful as the shop that he worked in.

To solve that problem, Yuuko helpfully presented him with a list when he trudged back inside, though his right eyebrow started twitching after the first five items. "The only things you have down so far are different brands of alcohol!" he snapped, scanning the rest of the paper for anything that wasn't a written invitation for liver destruction. "Are you planning on eating at all tonight?"

"Of course!" Yuuko ignored Watanuki's sceptical frown. "That's why I'm sending you out on a little shopping trip!"

'Little' didn't even begin to describe it. Judging from the amount that Yuuko had requested, Watanuki would have to haul his packages home on a sled to get them all back in just one trip.

"You really expect me to take care of this by myself?" said Watanuki dejectedly, and Yuuko gave him a pat on the head.

"Mokona will help. It'll be dark soon, and you don't want to run into unnecessary trouble with 'them'."

Watanuki felt himself sink even deeper into depression with the knowledge that he not only had to do all the work of a host while Yuuko took the credit but that he also had to brave a journey to the convenience store without being eaten by anything nasty and slimy and dead.

"Hey, witch."

Watanuki squeaked from his second shock of the day when Kurogane loomed over his shoulder from behind and glared down at Yuuko.

"Is there a problem?" asked Yuuko, the sweetness of her tone masking what Watanuki knew to be something infinitely more dangerous underneath, but he had to give Kurogane credit for not flinching back as he would have done.

"I just want to see what I left behind.”

"Your sword was your payment," Yuuko reminded him, but Kurogane waved a hand irritably.

"I know *that*, and I'll get it out of your damn claws someday, but for now I want to make sure it's being cared for."

Yuuko contemplated for a moment before smirking and saying, "All right. Just looking is fine, but be aware that terrible things will happen if you dare to try anything more. Watanuki, show him the way."

Watanuki silently pleaded for Yuuko to change her mind and assign the task to Moro or Maru instead, thus preventing him from having to be alone with someone much bigger and stronger scarier than him, but Yuuko's smirk only widened in obvious enjoyment at Watanuki's discomfort.

Defeated, Watanuki led Kurogane to the storage room, sliding the heavy door open and fumbling for the light switch, experiencing the same sinking sort of hopelessness he always got whenever he was forced to sort out Yuuko's ever-expanding collection.

"As you can see, many people leave things in Yuuko-san's possession," Watanuki said, speaking more out uneasiness than a need to offer information. "I keep trying to set up some sort of cataloguing system for better organisation, but it's like fighting a losing battle."

It was funny how Kurogane could convey his annoyance without having to resort to speech, and Watanuki hurried along towards the far left of the room.

"I do remember where Yuuko-san placed your sword though, so it saves us the trouble of having to search. Ah, there it is!"

Watanuki had to stand on tiptoe to reach the very top shelf but he managed to retrieve what he was looking for causing damage to himself or the holdings, although he almost dropped the weapon when he realised how heavy it was.

"It's covered in dust," Kurogane pointed out. "Are you so incompetent that you can't even keep it clean?"

"I did clean it! Yuuko-san forced me to air out all the contents of this room just last month!"

Kurogane's disbelief eventually gave way to an expression that seemed torn between resentment and wistfulness and Watanuki felt sympathy, despite being fearful of Kurogane's surly exterior. Even if he hadn't been aware of Yuuko's policy regarding her customers' more difficult wishes, he could tell the object in his hands was something Kurogane considered to be extremely important.

"It's a very pretty sword," he commented, but it only earned him a glare for his awkward consolation.

"Swords are tools of war," Kurogane said sternly. "They're used to kill and maim. 'Pretty' is the last word you should use to describe them."

"I apologise," Watanuki stammered, bowing. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"Now, now," a new voice spoke. "Don't be so hard on the poor boy."

Watanuki whirled round in surprise to see Fai standing by the entrance, smiling indulgently in the face of Kurogane's scowl.

"What are you doing here?" Kurogane groused, embarrassed to have been caught showing something that resembled attachment, but Fai made a soft 'hyuu' noise as he spotted what Watanuki was carrying.

"What a pretty sword, Kuro-puu!"

"It's not pretty!" Kurogane shouted, bristling, and Watanuki blinked.

"'Kuro-puu'?" he repeated, confused.

"One of our dear puppy's many names," Fai explained, amused as Kurogane growled under his breath. "I also call him Kuro-rin, Kuro-chan, Kuro-pipi, Kuro-pon, Kuro-tan, Kuro-chi and oh look, there's my staff!"

It was Kurogane's turn to be confused then as he said, "You've never called me that before," but Fai laughed airily.

"No, silly," he said, pointing. "Behind you. My staff."

"Oh!" Watanuki blurted out without thinking. "That's what was used to beat the rugs when-" He cut himself off abruptly, clapping a hand over his mouth and blushing in shame before bowing repeatedly in Fai's direction. "I'm so terribly sorry!" he wailed. "Even though I wasn't the one to abuse your precious belonging in such a way, I still have to apologise! Please forgive me!"

"Beating rugs, hmm?" Fai murmured thoughtfully. "That's not such a bad use."

"You have my deepest apologies," Watanuki continued, starting to feel dizzy from all the bowing he'd been doing, but Fai shook his head in amusement.

"There's no need for you to be sorry," he said kindly. "If it really had been irreplaceable I wouldn't have traded it in the first place."

Watanuki would have gone on longer if Yuuko hadn't chosen that moment to call out for them, and he mournfully accepted the list and the money she gave him, picking up his shopping bag and waiting for the black Mokona to hop inside.

"You're not going to give me help other than this?" he wanted to know, making one last try. "I don't think I'll be able to bring back everything you want alone."

"Shall I find you an alternative mode of transportation?" Yuuko said, all innocence, and Watanuki shook his head vehemently.

"I might trust you to call a cab if you were a normal person, but I know you'd just get Mokona to bring that giant bird again if I told you yes. I'd rather walk on my own two feet, thank you very much."

"You're no fun," sighed Yuuko, as Watanuki refused to be baited. "Fine then, take Syaoran-kun. It'll be nice for you to make a new friend."

And so Watanuki left, accompanied by a rather puzzled Syaoran, reminding Mokona to keep very still as they walked along the street. He needn't have bothered making it put on the stuffed animal act since even motionless, Mokona tended to draw giggles and whispers from passers-by.

"It's so round!" one girl piped.

"And so cute!" her friend twittered.

"That boy's a high schooler and yet he still carries plush toys around with him!"

"How babyish!"

Watanuki quickened the pace, his cheeks flaming with humiliation, and he was very grateful indeed when they reached a spot with no other human inhabitants.

"Tee hee, Mokona is popular!" the cause of Watanuki's grief sang gleefully.

"Keep it up and I'll throw you into that trashcan over there," Watanuki warned.

"Watanuki can't throw Mokona away! Without Mokona, Watanuki would never be able to understand Syaoran!"

"It's true," Syaoran verified. "I hear they act as a sort of translation device."

"I guess you're more useful than you appear," Watanuki relented, poking the top of Mokona's head.

"Mokona doesn't want to hear that coming from a guy who only knows how to scream and flail whenever he's in trouble!"

His anger returning full force, Watanuki hauled Mokona up by the ears, determined to take out his frustrations and ignoring its repetitive "kyaa" noises as he stretched it out like a pre-inflated balloon, only stopping when he heard Syaoran laughing discreetly.

"Let's go, shall we?" he said, embarrassed, stuffing Mokona back into the bag, and Syaoran nodded, still smiling.

"You two seem to share the same kind of relationship as Kurogane-san and our Mokona have. They do make our journey more entertaining than it probably should be."

Watanuki wasn't really sure how to react on being referred to as entertainment by a virtual stranger, but he was genuinely intrigued about the many experiences Syaoran and his companions must have been through during their travels. "Is Kurogane-san okay?" he inquired finally. "He seemed almost sad when I took him to see the sword he'd left behind. He must have been pained to part from it."

"Kurogane-san has his reasons," Syaoran said, his smile fading slightly. "But I believe that he'll be fine. After all, he's Kurogane-san. He has the ability to survive almost anything."

"I'm sure travelling with you makes things better," Watanuki mused. "I don't really understand the idea of different dimensions and the like, but I do feel that things like loneliness and other painful emotions disappear whenever you're with people that you trust. I may not know you very well, but I can sense that you're determined and trustworthy. Actually, I got that impression the first time I met you, and that even though your trials were bound to be harsh at times, you'd still see them through to the end. I just knew you'd be all right." He caught himself quickly and added, "I'm babbling, I know. You're probably thinking that I'm strange now, but everybody else does too, so it's not as if I'm upset or anything."

"I don't think you're strange." Syaoran's smile was a little brighter than the ones he'd shown before. "I think that you must be very intuitive if you can pick up all that on just one meeting, especially considering we never even spoke."

"No, it *is* strange," Watanuki argued, feeling ridiculous for opening his mouth in the first place. "Allow me to apologise, Syaoran-kun."

"There's no need," Syaoran assured him, echoing Fai's earlier words. "And please, call me by name. It's only fair since we both seem to be around the same age."

"You really are a nice guy!" Watanuki sighed, relieved. "You're the complete opposite of Yuuko-san, and this other jerk I know who's always giving me grief, not that I care about *him* or anything, even if he did bring my sight back."

"You lost your sight?" Syaoran sounded surprised, and Watanuki rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"It's a long story, but basically I gave up my right eye, then I nearly got it back, then I lost it for good, but then the jerk I mentioned just now gave up half of *his* right eye to share with me, even though the whole sequence of events was his fault, and maybe even mine a little, and..." He trailed off sheepishly and cleared his throat. "Is this actually making sense?"

"You lost one thing but gained something more important in return?" Syaoran guessed.

"I wouldn't call it *important*," Watanuki denied hurriedly. "I can't see the same through one eye as I do the other, and sometimes they show me completely different things, and worse still, the guy I'm sharing with can actually see what I'm seeing, which is completely horrible, and it's all very weird and creepy, but it's okay if you don't understand because I don't either sometimes, and... I'm babbling again, aren't I?"

"No, I understand," Syaoran said earnestly. "It's the same for me, more or less."

"It is?" said Watanuki, incredulous.

"Yes, I lost my right eye too, a long time ago, and I've also been seeing strange things lately."

Watanuki's heart soared upon receiving news that he wasn't the only one who suffered baffling and bewildering hardships, and that there was somebody who could empathise with what he'd been through, but his hopes were soon dashed when Syaoran concluded what he'd been saying.

"I call them strange, but worrying would be more appropriate. I have these black outs occasionally, and it sometimes feel as though someone else is moving my body without my knowledge or consent. Last time it happened, I think I ended up tearing off an enemy's arms."

"You *think*?!" Watanuki repeated in alarm.

"Well, there was a lot of blood when I came to..."

Watanuki tactfully tried to move aside so that he wasn't walking quite as close to Syaoran as he had been doing, and reminding himself that first impressions were often known to be misleading.

Thankfully, he managed to make it to the convenience store and back without mishap and with all his limbs intact, but he made very sure to keep a safe distance away from Syaoran throughout the rest of the evening.

In any case, he was kept occupied trotting back and forth between the sitting room and the kitchen, cooking like a fiend and trying to prevent Yuuko from getting too drunk and showing them both up in front of guests. Having one Mokona sneaking snacks behind his back was bad enough, but having two was even worse, and everyone seemed to find it very amusing to watch him chasing a pair of bouncing black and white puffballs with a spatula as he bellowed out death threats.

"You truly are a talented chef," praised Fai as Watanuki removed the empty trays that had been sitting on the table and replaced them with fresh offerings.

"It's a shame we can't have fondant au chocolat," Yuuko pouted. "The last batch was *so* delicious."

"Were you the one who made those?" asked Fai when Watanuki knelt by his side to pour out tea. "I did wonder how our charming hostess managed to acquire such a wonderful recipe."

"Yes, I made them," said Watanuki, mentally muttering that there was nothing charming whatsoever about his employer. "It's traditional in this country to give out chocolates for Valentine's Day, so I'm very glad to hear that you enjoyed what was sent to you by Yuuko-san."

"You really are a diligent worker," Fai continued. "Yuuko-san is lucky to have you."

"Pay the price and I'll gladly grant you ownership," Yuuko informed him slyly. "Watanuki will be all yours."

"Slavery was abolished some years ago, right?" Watanuki said hastily, unnerved by the way Yuuko seriously sounded as though she was willing to sell him just like that, but there was a glint in Yuuko's eye that made him want to tremble.

"It's my duty to fulfil the wish of all my customers, no matter how outrageous they are," Yuuko stated matter-of-factly. "Even if the desire in question happens to be my darling part-time help, it is only right that I respond to the requirement."

"YOU ARE NOT MY PIMP!" roared Watanuki, and Fai chuckled good-naturedly.

"Tempting as the offer may be, I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I believe I've already given you everything I own that's of importance."

"Oh, really?" Yuuko's gaze flickered subtly over to Kurogane before settling back on Fai, but Fai merely smiled serenely at her and changed the subject.

It was much later than usual when Watanuki managed to retire for the night, but he wasn't fortunate enough to go home alone. Yuuko had bullied him into taking Fai, Kurogane and the black Mokona along, and Watanuki wondered pitifully if he hadn't started to go grey already from all the stress that was constantly being heaped upon him.

"I'm sorry for the lack of space," he said regretfully, all too aware that his poky apartment was barely big enough to host a single person, let alone three. "I only have one spare futon, too."

Fai patted him on the shoulder. "That's no problem. Kuro-sama and I can share!"

"The hell we will," Kurogane barked, momentarily forgetting Fai when he noted the wards by the window and reaching out for them inquisitively. "Aren't these the kind of things that should belong in shrines?"

"Don't touch them!" Watanuki cried, slipping past Kurogane and drawing the curtains in order to peer outside, shuddering at the writhing mass of dripping shadow only inches away from his face.

"They're agitated," Mokona chirruped, but even it was subdued. "They're all crowding to get inside."

"Out is where they'll stay. As long as the windows are sealed, we'll be safe."

"'They'?" Kurogane repeated, trying to find what Watanuki was so interested in, but Watanuki shook his head.

"I didn't expect you to see them, but then they're only attracted to me."

"Ah!" clapped Fai. "They're spirits?"

"There's nothing there," Kurogane insisted.

"For you maybe," Watanuki moped. "For me there are more eyes and teeth than I can count."

"Call Yuuko!" Mokona suggested. "She'll send you a special charm that will keep them at bay!"

"And give up something in return?" scoffed Watanuki. "I'm not *that* stupid."

"Then call Doumeki!"

"I'm not asking that bastard for anything!"

But Mokona had already bounced over to the small stand where the telephone rested, nudging the receiver aside and tapping in a series of numbers with its paws. Watanuki's mystification switched to absolute mortification when Mokona spoke up, not in its own voice but in a perfect copy of Watanuki's.

"Hello?" it said, putting on a simpering, pathetic tone. "Doumeki? I'm scared and lonely and need someone to sleep in my bed with me tonight! Keep me company? Pretty pleeeease? I loooove you! Chu, chu~!"

Horrified, Watanuki snatched the receiver away from Mokona and yelled into it, "Sorry, my mistake! Wrong number!" and slammed it back down.

"Oh, this Mokona does impersonations too!" Fai observed as Mokona 'ufufu'd' and took a bow.

"That does it," Watanuki growled at the dancing manjuu, livid. "Just stay right there where I can kill you..."

 

TBC.


	2. Two

Title: Many Meetings  
Author: Triste  
Fandom: xxxHolic/Tsubasa Chronicle  
Pairings: Probable Doumeki/Watanuki, Kurogane/Fai and Syaoran/Sakura  
Rating: PG  
Status: Work in progress (part 2/?)  
Disclaimer: Not mine

~~

When Watanuki woke up the next morning, the last thing he expected was to be greeted by what appeared to be a blur of black. Squinting, he reached out and fumbled for his glasses, frowning in confusion when his hand came to rest atop something strange.

"He's awake!" a voice said perkily, and Watanuki squinted to make out the fuzzy outline of Mokona perched in front of him. The mystery as to where his glasses had disappeared to was solved when he saw that Mokona was currently holding them up against its face and leering at him through the lenses. "Look at me! I'm Watanuki, the King of Geeks!"

Watanuki growled as Mokona dissolved into fits of giggles, grabbing his pillow and trying to smack the snickering manjuu with it, but even with Mokona temporarily disabled by laughter, Watanuki's poor sight caused him to miss on each attempt. He gave a cry of triumph when he finally got Mokona to relinquish its prize but then shrieked in a very undignified fashion when it swooped down his pyjama top and began wriggling around inside.

"Stop that!" he squawked, flapping his arms helplessly and hooting like an oversized owl as Mokona tickled him without mercy. "I said *stop*!"

The torture came to an abrupt end when a hand slid into his sleep shirt and gracefully plucked Mokona out by the ears as another hand guided Watanuki's glasses to their rightful place, bringing the whole world back into focus. If the shriek Watanuki had let out earlier had been undignified, it was nothing compared to the squeak he gave when he registered Fai's smiling face only millimetres away from his own.

"Good morning," Fai said pleasantly, as though invading a virtual stranger's personal space was nothing at all out of the ordinary for him.

"G-Good morning," Watanuki stammered, his face turning pink. "Did you rest well last night?"

"I did indeed," replied Fai, and Watanuki felt very relieved when he backed away and gave him room to breathe.

"Enough with the pleasantries," Kurogane grumbled, scowling suspiciously at Mokona when it gave him a wave. "Isn't it time for breakfast yet?"

"Sorry!" said Watanuki nervously, jumping to his feet. "I'll cook something right away!"

"Do you need help?" asked Fai, and Watanuki shook his head.

"You're my guest, I couldn't possibly-"

"Okay then! Kuro-sama, you can tidy up with Mokona while Watanuki-kun and I make our first meal of the day!"

"Wai, Mokona is helpful!"

"Get away from me you stupid manjuu!"

Watanuki glanced back over his shoulder warily as he and Fai went into the kitchen. "Are you sure they're going to be all right?" he wondered.

"Don't worry," Fai said confidently. "You wouldn't think so to look at him but Kuro-tan has an affinity with things that are small and cute."

Watanuki couldn't quite bring himself to believe that sentence with all the thumping and the cursing coming from the bedroom, but he crossed his fingers tightly behind his back and hoped that he wouldn't be receiving a call from his landlord about the noise later on that day.

Still, he did find himself surprised to witness the ease in which Fai flitted around the kitchen, and although he felt slightly abashed for invading someone else's privacy, he had to ask anyway.

"Do you have these kinds of implements in your world?" he said, curious, but Fai shook his head.

"Where I come from, our way of living is very different. We don't have electricity for starters."

"Then how do you get by?"

"With magic."

Silence stretched out over them as Watanuki tried to figure out whether or not Fai was pulling his leg, but he tried again as he asked tentatively, "Do all the people in your world have these so-called magical powers?"

"Not everyone," said Fai, his expression serene. "Some of them have kitty ears instead."

Another silence.

"Kitty ears?"

"Yes."

Watanuki decided to put an end to his curiosity and keep his sanity firmly intact by not presenting Fai with any more questions about the mysterious place that he'd come from, but Fai seemed to have his own queries about the way Watanuki lived his life.

"I notice that there's no one else who stays with you," he commented. "Don't you have any parents?"

"They passed away when I was young," Watanuki said. "I was in the care of my guardians for a few years afterwards, but then I got my own apartment when I hit my teens. They live in the same complex though, so it's not like I'm totally alone."

"You never feel lonely?"

"Maybe, but I have friends at school, and I'm usually kept busy with work at Yuuko-san's shop." Watanuki paused before adding, "Were you ever lonely in the world where you came from?"

Fai's smile didn't falter in the slightest but Watanuki got the impression that he'd done something horrible by intruding so shamelessly, but Fai opened his mouth before Watanuki could start apologising and said, "I suppose I might have been, once upon a time, but now I have Mokona and Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan. Oh, and Kuro-rin, of course. I could never forget him."

"It's nice to have companions, isn't it?" said Watanuki, feeling slightly better to know that he hadn't been offensive after all, and the smile on Fai's lips seemed somewhat brighter then.

The rest of the morning passed by without mishap, although it was a shock when Mokona suddenly froze between bouts of stealing from Kurogane's plate and enlarged its eyes with a loud "mekyo!" which caused Watanuki and Kurogane to yell in unison as though a car alarm had been set off right beside their ears.

"I *hate* it when these things do that!" hissed Kurogane, and Watanuki silently agreed as he clutched at his chest to feel his heart pounding away underneath.

"Good morning to you all," Yuuko said brightly as her image was projected against the wall from a beam of light that burst out of the jewel on Mokona's head. "I trust that everything is well?"

"You have a telephone!" Watanuki howled, his near-death experience forgotten in light of his wrath. "Why can't you use it?!"

"Because this method of communication is much more fun! Being able to see each other like this while we talk makes things much more intimate, wouldn't you agree?"

"I don't want your intimacy! Why are you even contacting me anyway?"

"Since it's such a nice day outside, I thought it would be nice if we could all get together in the park for a picnic! Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan are helping me take care of things on this end, so can I entrust the task of preparing the meal to you?"

"You mean I'm supposed to cook for everyone *again*?!"

"We'll be meeting at midday, so don't be late!"

Yuuko cut the call on her end before Watanuki could start ranting and raving, and Mokona gave an evil little snicker.

"That's my Yuuko! She always knows how to get what she wants!"

"She's just using it as yet another excuse to drown herself in alcohol!" Watanuki fumed. "I'll have to call in at the store for the second time in as many days now! The owners are starting to think that it's me with the addiction, not her!"

Yuuko's image flickered up once more and added, "Oh, I almost forgot. Invite Doumeki-kun along too, won’t you?"

"Why does *he* have to come?!" Watanuki wailed, but neither Yuuko nor Mokona were listening.

~~

Watanuki was in a very bad mood indeed as he led the way to Doumeki's family temple later on that morning, but a feminine voice calling his name soon made his anxiety fade away and he skipped towards it as if floating on air, his own voice rising a good two octaves or so as he cried out blissfully, "Himawari-chan, how wonderful to see you like this~!"

"Good morning, Watanuki-kun," was Himawari's response. "Are you out on an errand?"

"Yuuko-san wanted a picnic," gushed Watanuki, still sparkling. "Are you busy? Would you like to join us?"

"I'm doing chores for my mother," Himawari said apologetically. "It's such a shame, but I'll have to pass." Then she noticed Fai and Kurogane and asked, "Did Yuuko-san invite these people along? Are they friends of yours?"

Watanuki balked, unsure of how to answer. While Himawari seemed open to the idea of the afterlife and the supernatural, he didn't really think that he should tell the truth to how his guests had arrived, but he couldn't really come up with a plausible lie to explain their presence either.

Fai stepped forward just as Watanuki was really starting to panic, bowing politely before Himawari and smiling at her. "Allow me to introduce myself," he said smoothly. "My name is Fai, and this suspicious-looking man," he added, pointing to Kurogane, "would be Watanuki-kun's father."

Both Watanuki and Kurogane gave out a very loud "EH?!" at that, while Himawari sounded puzzled

"Watanuki-kun, didn't you tell me you were an orphan?"

"W-Well, I, uh... um... ahh..." Watanuki stuttered, grateful that Fai had come to his rescue, but also completely appalled by his audacity and the fact that he'd uttered such an obvious lie. "I... uh..."

"It's a long story," began Fai, grinning like a lunatic as he hooked his left arm around Kurogane's shoulders and his right around Watanuki's waist. "Poor Watanuki-kun was parted from his parents at a very young age, and while his mother did indeed pass away in a frightful accident, his father managed to miraculously survive."

"Watanuki-kun's father survived and he never even knew?" gasped Himawari, her eyes full of sympathy and unshed tears.

"The government hid him away," Fai said grandly. "They pronounced him legally dead and gave Watanuki-kun a certificate as proof, but the real horrors were yet to come."

"Horrors?"

"Yes, that's right. Watanuki-kun's father was used for tests and experiments. Scientists toyed with his body and his mind, reducing him to a mere shadow of the man he used to be, but, by chance, I happened to be making a delivery to the secret laboratory where he was being kept prisoner. Seeing the terrible state of Watanuki-kun's father, I cleverly drugged the pizza the scientists had ordered with a sleeping draught, and once they'd all passed out, I stole the security codes and set Watanuki-kun's father free from his ordeal. He wouldn't stop weeping he was so grateful, and after thanking me with all his heart, he kept on saying, "I have to find my darling boy!" over and over, leaving me with no other choice than to accompany him on the quest to find his son."

"And what happened next?"

"We embarked upon a perilous journey, fraught with danger and hardship, climbing mountains and crossing seas, fighting armies and defeating all the enemies who tried to stand in our way. Finally we reached this country, and, at long last, father and son were reunited, never to be parted again."

Kurogane looked like he was just itching to commit homicide while Watanuki's eyes had taken on a rather glazed quality, but Himawari sniffed daintily into her handkerchief.

"How very touching!" she exclaimed, dabbing away her tears. "I'm so glad that you were able to find each other after all this time!"

Fai nodded solemnly. "It's beautiful isn't it? And you know what's more? Watanuki-kun also has siblings, a younger brother and a younger sister. They were all born on the same day, making the three of them non-identical triplets!"

Kurogane opened his mouth to say something and Fai stood on his foot, effectively preventing him from unravelling his carefully constructed tragedy as Himawari's face lit up.

"You really have siblings, Watanuki-kun? Would it be possible for me to meet them in the future?"

"Of course!" said Fai, speaking in Watanuki's place. "I'm sure they'd love to make friends with a cute girl like you!"

Himawari clapped her hands in delight. "Then it's decided! Watanuki-kun, good luck with all the family matters, and I'll see you at school on Monday!"

Kurogane waited until she was safely out of earshot before turning on Fai with the kind of face usually worn by evil monsters in children's picture books, saying menacingly, "What the hell was *that*? You'd better give me a good explanation, otherwise I swear I'll break your head open and wash out all the contents."

"Don't be so uptight," Fai soothed, apparently unaffected by Kurogane's killing intent. "Daddy already has two children of his own, so what's one more?"

"I told you to stop saying that stuff!"

"But it's true! Kuro-sama is the daddy and I'm the mommy and that makes Syaoran-kun, Sakura-chan and Watanuki-kun our adorable offspring!"

Start running," Kurogane warned, making a fist, "because when I catch up to you..."

Fai stepped back, sensing imminent danger. "Watanuki-kun, how much further to the temple?"

"Ah... just keep going along this street, take a left at the crossing, then a right at the next, then just keep walking forward until you see the building. You can't miss it."

"Okay, I'll be going on ahead!"

Fai gave a wave and a "hyuu" before speeding off into the distance, Kurogane hot on his heels and yelling "Get back here you bastard!" as he chased after him.

Sighing, Watanuki followed at a more leisurely pace, and not just because he was so laden down with the picnic basket, pondering just how Fai had managed to stay alive until now if he was always provoking Kurogane for whatever reason.

Sure enough, he caught up with them at the entrance to the temple. Doumeki was there waiting and he watched them with a vague sort of interest before turning his attention to Watanuki.

"Who are these guys? They don't seem like they're here to pray."

"I was told to bring them by Yuuko-san," said Watanuki. "The blond one is a client of hers and the other..." He cringed, remembering Fai's cover story and added with extreme reluctance, "He's... my father."

Doumeki blinked, but his placid expression didn't change in the slightest at this revelation. "Oh."

It was Watanuki's turn to blink then before launching into a tirade and shouting out, "'Oh'? You know for a fact that both my parents died years ago and yet all you have to say is 'oh'?! Aren't you even a *little* bit sceptical?"

"If you say he's your father, then it's probably true. I have no reason to be disbelieving."

"But... but... Just *look* at him! We're don't resemble each other at all! Besides, he's only in his early twenties, so how would it work out in terms of human biology?"

"Lots of people start their families young these days."

"It's scientifically impossible!"

"Maybe it's a miracle from God?"

"There *is* no miracle! Just shut up and follow me!"

The only consolation for having the day start out so poorly was that Watanuki would at least be without his main cause for concern. As much as he hated to admit it, the bad things kept their distance whenever he was with Doumeki, leaving him with one less thing to worry about.

"Alcohol!" was the first word out of Yuuko's mouth when Watanuki reached his destination to find his employer already waiting for him along with Sakura and Syaoran.

"My name is not 'Alcohol'!" he boomed, whirling round aggressively when Doumeki tapped him on the shoulder.

"Oi."

"I am not 'Oi'!"

"Then, Nobita-kun?" said Yuuko.

Doumeki nodded. "Nobita it is."

"QUIT CALLING ME THAT!"

"Is it an alias?" asked Syaoran, intrigued. "I have one too. It's 'Little Puppy'."

"And Kuro-wan-wan is Big Puppy," Fai helpfully interjected. "Isn't that sweet?"

"IT IS NOT!" Kurogane barked, and Fai laughed merrily.

"Daddy and Watanuki-kun really are alike!"

"They sure are," Doumeki agreed.

"DON'T YOU START!" hollered Watanuki, but Yuuko whistled shrilly in order to break up the argument.

"Yes, yes, that's quite enough. Now, time for refreshments!"

The black Mokona, who had long since hopped off Watanuki's shoulder and flopped down on the blanket Yuuko had brought, beckoned a paw and ordered, "Wata, bring the booze!"

"And you!" fumed Watanuki, pouring out the drinks. "Stop bossing me around all the time!" Mokona chortled deviously, leaving Watanuki to mutter mournfully to himself. "Honestly. Isn't there *someone* out there willing to call me by name?"

And then Doumeki was right there behind him as he said in his usual monotonous tone, "Kimihiro."

Watanuki blushed at Doumeki's proximity and at being addressed so personally, stuttering out a weak, "Eh?"

"Kimihiro," Doumeki repeated slowly. "That's what you wanted to be called, isn't it?"

"I... but... you... Oh, shut up and leave me alone!"

Doumeki shrugged and helped himself to onigiri while Watanuki tried his best to ignore Yuuko's knowing smirk as he set about serving her.

"You seem uncomfortable," she observed, amusement clearly displayed when Watanuki shook his head vigorously. "Really? Well, let me bring out something that should make you feel more at ease."

She pulled down her top down teasingly, just enough to reveal a pipe that Watanuki had seen before on many an occasion before drawing it out and unscrewing the top. The pipe fox seized its freedom and shot towards Watanuki with the intensity of a speeding bullet, diving down the collar of his shirt and making him laugh hysterically as it tickled him in greeting.

Doumeki, already knowing what was going on, paid little attention, but Sakura seemed enthralled as Watanuki flailed.

"Ah!" she cried when the pipe fox popped its head out of Watanuki's sleeve. "How cute!"

"Huh?" said Watanuki, amazed. "You can *see* it?"

"Of course!" replied Sakura. "I never knew that snakes in this country had fur!"

"Um... it's actually a fox," Watanuki corrected, sweating. "I know it doesn't look like one though..."

"Are all the foxes in your world the same? Where I come from, they have four legs and a tail."

"They do in this world too, but-"

"That fox is special," Doumeki cut in, bland as ever. "It has strong spiritual powers."

"But it still looks like a furry snake," Sakura said thoughtfully, and Yuuko chuckled.

"Would you like to see its true form?"

"No, don't!" begged Watanuki as Sakura nodded eagerly, but it was too late. A sharp 'pop' and the pipe fox had transformed from being small and compact into being large and even more overly friendly than usual. It bowled Watanuki onto his back, all nine of its tails wagging joyfully, and Sakura gasped in delight.

"It's so pretty, and so exotic!"

"I'm glad to hear that," wheezed Watanuki as the pipe fox literally began to smother him with love. "But how do you know it's there?"

"It's as plain as day," said Sakura, confused by the question, and Syaoran stepped in to clear things up.

"The princess has been able to communicate with spirits since she was small. I may not be able to see the same things she does, but I still believe that they exist. To me right now, it just looks like you're being pushed around by thin air."

Sakura was disappointed. "So the fox is invisible to you, Syaoran-kun?"

"I can't see it either," Fai said cheerfully. "How about you, Kuro-pon?"

"I don't even want to," Kurogane snorted.

"In that case, allow me to recommend these special spirit-viewing goggles," announced Yuuko, plucking a pair from her bag and holding them up as though offering the Holy Grail itself for rent.

"Aren't they just ordinary goggles?" said Watanuki sceptically. "Moreover, didn't you steal them from the science labs at mine and Doumeki's school the last time you came to visit?"

"I never steal anything," said Yuuko, offended. "I always offer the appropriate compensation for whatever item I happen to acquire, but anyway, let's put that aside. Would you like to borrow them, Syaoran-kun?"

Syaoran nodded enthusiastically. "Yes please!" But then his face fell and he added, "I don't have anything I can pay with, though..."

"How about we let you have Kuro-mu as your personal errand boy for one whole day?" said Fai. "That should be a fair trade."

"I'm not for sale, dammit!" Kurogane shouted indignantly, but Yuuko had already accepted.

"Very well, I'll leave these in your hands."

Syaoran took the goggles and placed them over his eyes, adjusting them before finally focusing on what Sakura had claimed to exist. "I see it!" he said excitedly.

Watanuki gawked in astonishment. "You mean those things actually *work?*"

Yuuko smiled mysteriously and Syaoran scuttled closer, leaning over the pipe fox and studying it from every angle.

"Amazing! Why does it have so many tails? What are the markings on its face? Why does it have two different forms? What is its function? How old is it? How did it originate? Are there more of its kind?"

"That's our Syaoran-kun," Fai said fondly. "He's such a curious boy."

"He also has a point," Yuuko conceded. "It takes a lot of pure energy to turn a pipe fox from one form to the other. Syaoran-kun, would you like to accompany Watanuki tonight and see the transformation for yourself?"

"You mean I have to go back inside that urn?" Watanuki protested. "Back to the world with the talking daffodils?"

"There are worlds where flowers talk?" enthused Syaoran. "Watanuki, please allow me to go with you and meet them!"

Syaoran was so earnest about the idea that Watanuki had a hard time turning him down. "I suppose it *is* necessary to get the pipe fox back to its normal size," he said finally. "And it's not like the daffodils are *dangerous* or anything, just scary. At least I'll be able to breathe properly again. It's nice that the pipe fox likes me and all, but still..."

"It's more than like," stated Doumeki. "It adores you, although I have no idea why."

"Well excuse me for being popular!" snapped Watanuki. "I can't help attracting spirits any more than you can help attracting females!"

Fai quirked an eyebrow in interest. "So Doumeki-kun is a ladies' man?"

"All the girls worship him," Watanuki said miserably. "He's had three separate confessions of love this week alone, and he turned them down! He always turns them down, and some of the poor girls even end up crying! He's heartless!"

"I have my reasons," said Doumeki, staring idly at Watanuki who remained completely oblivious as he tried not to be crushed to death by the pipe fox.

"Now, now, don't worry so much over all the insignificant details," Yuuko cautioned. "Your hair will fall out otherwise. You should take after Sakura-chan more."

All eyes turned to Sakura who, unbeknownst to everyone else, had just finished her first glass of sake, and her smile was considerably more lopsided than it had been previously as she gave a tiny hiccup and said, "Nyah?"

"That's the spirit, Sakura-chan!" Fai cheered. "We should all drink too!"

Kurogane turned very pale then, but Sakura was already on her second glass and Fai had started on his first. The Mokona were egging them on while Yuuko cackled merrily, and Watanuki, although not always being the most observant person around, could still spot trouble a mile off, and he took refuge by the climbing frame as the rest of the group continued to drink their way to an early grave.

At least he had a clear path to take, should the police decide to stop by and make an arrest.

 

TBC.


	3. Three

Title: Many Meetings  
Author: Triste  
Fandom: xxxHolic/Tsubasa Chronicle  
Pairings: Doumeki/Watanuki, Kurogane/Fai, Syaoran/Sakura  
Rating: PG  
Status: Work in progress (part 3 of ?)  
Disclaimer: Not mine

~~

Most people dreaded going back to school or work on Monday mornings but Watanuki was, as always, an exception. He was actually grateful to return to something resembling routine and normalcy, although he was extremely exhausted as he slumped into class and took his seat for homeroom.

"Are you okay, Watanuki-kun?" Himawari's voice lacked its usual sunny tone, tinged with concern at the sight of Watanuki draped over his desk like a wrung-out rag. "You don't seem so good. Are you sick?"

Watanuki sat bolt upright, his spine ramrod straight, giving off the impression of a person that had just been electrocuted. "No, no, not at all! I'm sorry for making you worry!"

Himawari didn't let the matter drop right away though. "Are you sure? You look really tired. Did something happen last night? Do you need to go lie down in the nurse's office for a while?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Watanuki flapped his arms a little as proof of his revitalised state, and Himawari seemed momentarily appeased by his liveliness. He couldn't tell her what he'd really spent the previous night doing (guiding Syaoran on a tour through Yuuko's daffodil urn), so he kept on grinning manically until Himawari gave him a tentative smile of acceptance.

Watanuki dropped his act immediately when he felt a very unwarranted kick to the right back leg of his chair, however, and he didn't even have to look over his shoulder to know the culprit's identity.

"Oi."

Clenching his fist, Watanuki struggled to reign in his temper, biting out a disgruntled "what?" as he kept his back to the person who had so rudely interrupted his precious conversation with Himawari.

"You look like hell. Your health will suffer if you don't get enough sleep."

"Ah, you think so too, Doumeki-kun?" said Himawari, giving the newcomer the warm welcome that Watanuki stubbornly refused to bestow.

Doumeki inclined his head, his gaze still fixed on Watanuki's back. "Those huge bags under your eyes will only make you all the more unattractive towards the opposite sex, you know."

Watanuki's patience snapped with the abruptness of a bungee rope being cut, and he finally gave Doumeki the privilege of witnessing his glare as he whipped his head around and shouted, "Pardon me for being a lowly human being with lowly limits to my measly capabilities! You'd look like a panda bear, too, if you had to spend most of the night doing things for somebody else's sake! Having to wake up extra early so that I could make not only your lunch but see to all three of my guests didn't exactly help! And then, assuming I actually manage to survive the rest of today, I have to go to Yuuko-san's place and subject myself to her every outrageous whim! Now do you understand why I'm suffering from stress and poor sleep patterns?"

Doumeki remained nonplussed by Watanuki's defensiveness, shrugging his shoulders and saying, "Oh," before taking his own seat, leaving Watanuki to grind his teeth in a way that would surely wear them down to nothing if he kept that behaviour up.

Any hope he'd had of ignoring Doumeki for the rest of the morning was soon dashed when their first subject of the day, Media Studies, began with the teacher setting out an assignment. While Watanuki had absolutely no objection towards working on a group project with Himawari, he hadn't hesitated to make his disagreement known when Himawari beckoned Doumeki in their direction.

"Having more people to split the task between will make things easier," said Himawari as the three of them huddled around to discuss their aims. "Besides, I had to invite Doumeki-kun. You two are so close, Watanuki-kun! I'm envious!"

Watanuki didn't share Himawari's opinion at all, but Himawari had already moved on as she peered down at their handouts in a contemplative fashion.

"So basically, we have to tell a story, right? The way in which we choose to present it is up to each individual group, but it gives us some suggestions on these papers. We could co-write a story, draw a short manga, or even make a mini-movie to present to the rest of the class."

"I'm not good with drawing," Watanuki said regretfully.

"My grandfather taught me calligraphy when I was young," said Doumeki, and Watanuki growled.

"That's not drawing, is it? And anyway, who asked you?"

"I like the sound of making a movie," announced Himawari, twirling the end of one her pigtails around her pencil. "It's probably the medium that requires the most amount of effort, but I think it would be fun!"

"But I can't really act either," Watanuki replied hesitantly.

"It doesn't matter," said Doumeki, impassive. "You wouldn't have to speak. You could just flail about the way you always do. It'll be like those old black and white silent comedies."

Himawari clapped her hands together. "I know those! You're talking about the ones with the little western man with the moustache and bowler hat, right?"

"Why do *I* have to be the subject of this film?" snapped Watanuki. "And why does it have to be comedic?"

Doumeki raised one eyebrow. "Isn't that obvious?"

"I know!" said Himawari, before Watanuki could start raving. "We could make it a horror movie! I'm sure Yuuko-san knows plenty of urban legends. She might even lend us the props to act the story out with!"

"You don't want to ask *her* help," Watanuki cautioned. "And really, as much as I dislike the idea of being the focus of a comedy short, I'd rather make it that than something scary."

"There's no rule against the assistance of non-students and staff members," Himawari murmured, scanning the guidelines. "I'm sure it would be fine for Yuuko-san to give us a few ideas."

"Stop saying her name!" Watanuki begged. "It's like giving the Devil consent to take your soul!"

Himawari's cell phone started beeping all of a sudden, and after permission from the teacher, she answered it. "Hello? Ah, Yuuko-san, we were just talking about you!"

Watanuki's mind was working overtime at that point as he wondered whether Yuuko had bugged him somehow, or whether she possessed some sort of secret psychic powers. There was no other way to explain how she could have called Himawari at that precise moment, and, as Yuuko had already drilled into Watanuki many times before, there was no such thing as coincidence, only inevitability.

If Watanuki's inner gloom would have been visible to everyone else he was sure it would have manifested itself in the form of a tiny storm cloud hovering over his head. He could practically feel the miniature raindrops pattering onto his hair as well as hear the little rumbles of thunder in his ears when Himawari hung up.

"I explained everything," she said, completely unaware of Watanuki's misery. "Yuuko-san wants us all to meet up after school so that we can discuss matters further. Isn't that great?"

Watanuki didn't think so, but then he never really felt as though he was in control of his own destiny. He was nothing more than a butterfly being tossed around by the winds of fate, or being held down under a magnifying glass and slowly sizzled to death under the rays of the sun.

 

~~

 

Watanuki's heart had sunk to the vicinity of his shoes when the time came for their promised meeting, and the ominous smile on Yuuko's face only made him feel even worse. The white Mokona bounced impatiently on her knee, and that was when Watanuki noticed the loosely bound sheaf of papers lying by Yuuko's side.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing.

"Read it and find out," Yuuko instructed, still much too happy for Watanuki's liking as he glanced at the front page with growing dread.

"'The Amazing Adventures of Freedom Fighter Kimi-puu'?"

"What a charming title!" cried Himawari.

"Isn't it just?" said Yuuko.

Watanuki flipped through the rest of the pages, picking out one line at random and speaking it out loud. "'I will not let you have your way, puu. I will continue to fight for as long as I have strength, puu. I will protect this planet at the cost of my own life, puu. Users of the dark force be gone, puu.' Where did you get this? Who wrote it?"

"Mokona did! Be sure to give Mokona credit!"

"Yes, don't forget to give your thanks once production is completed," said Yuuko. "After all, it *is* rare to find such a talented script writer on such short notice."

Watanuki held a hand up for her to stop. "Wait a minute. You call *this* a script? And it was written by *that* thing no less?"

"Mokona isn't a thing! Mokona is Mokona!"

"Himawari-chan came to me with the request," Yuuko told Watanuki. "Of course, I had to fulfil it, and of course, you'll be the one offering up payment."

"You mean it's all coming out of my wages?" Watanuki lamented, and Yuuko smirked.

"Well, I did take a rather personal interest in this one. Shall I give you a brief introduction to the plot? It's basically about a magical girl, our eponymous heroine, Kimi-puu."

"So that's where the title comes from," Doumeki commented, and Himawari beamed.

"What do magical girls have to do with horror movies?" Watanuki wanted to know.

"That's all been changed. It now revolves around the universal themes of love, friendship and justice, you see. There will be battles, though. Lots of them. We've already decided on the roles."

"'We'? Who's 'we'?"

"Syaoran-kun and the others. You'll need them, right? But anyway, it's already been established that you're the magical heroine, so that makes Syaoran-kun the evil sorcerer, your mortal enemy, and Doumeki-kun the obligatory love interest."

"I BEG YOUR PARDON?"

"Fai and Kurogane agreed to play your parents, but Sakura-chan won't be making her debut in this movie. She wanted to design the outfits instead. Himawari-chan, would you mind taking charge of the camera?"

"Just leave it to me!"

Watanuki waved his arms frantically for attention, altogether displeased by how well Himawari (and Doumeki, to a certain extent) were receiving Yuuko's words. "Hold it right there! What's all this Kimi-puu stuff? And why do I have to play a magical girl when I'm not even female?"

"You'll look enough like one after we get you into costume," Yuuko said dismissively, and the colour drained from Watanuki's face.

"C-Costume?"

"We should go with one of those cute little sailor school uniforms, but your battle outfit will need planning out too."

"You honestly expect me to *wear* those things on film? And to use my *real* name while I'm at it?"

"There's some sort of law against that kind of thing, so that's why we altered them slightly, to avoid getting into any trouble. Your character is Kimi-puu, as I mentioned earlier, and Syaoran-kun's character is Syao-rin. Obligatory Love Interest Doumeki-kun will be known as Dou-maki-maki. Aren't they all cute names?"

"They're not cute, they're stupid! And why does Doumeki have to be my love interest?"

Yuuko raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that obvious?"

"No, it isn't! Why can't Himawari-chan take the role?"

"I'm sorry, Watanuki-kun," Himawari soothed. "I'd probably do a better job behind the camera rather than in front of it."

"So there you have it," said Yuuko, satisfied. "Filming starts straight after school. Be sure to rehearse properly now!"

~~

Watanuki had thought he'd grown used to being humiliated in public by Yuuko on a regular basis by now, but his embarrassment levels seemed to have hit an all-time high as he moped towards the vacant lot where Himawari had requested to shoot their first scene. Although Sakura had indeed been the one to create all the costumes, Watanuki could safely assume that she'd been following orders from Yuuko. There was nobody else sadistic enough to force him into something so pink and frilly.

Watanuki didn't think his face would ever go back to its usual shade, that it would be stained permanently scarlet for the rest of his life, and that his skirt was far too short to be considered anywhere near decent, but, compared to what Yuuko tended to wear, Watanuki's clothing was practically demure.

It wasn't surprising that he was the last to arrive and, as he stomped over to where everyone else was waiting, Watanuki fixed his best glower on Doumeki.

"Well, go ahead," he commanded. "Start laughing."

Doumeki's gaze started out at Watanuki's shiny red buckle shoes, moved up his legs and over the scrap of pink cloth that barely covered Watanuki's hips and the tops of his thighs, then further still over the little white blouse, before finally settling on Watanuki's scowling face.

"It's appropriate," was all that he said.

"Bastard! Are you being sarcastic?"

"No fighting, you two! We have a movie to make!"

Yuuko waved from the deck chair she was lounging on, and Watanuki was quick to notice the word DIRECTOR spelled out over the cap that she wore. An oversized pair of sunglasses completed the look, as did the bottles of sake she had lined up, and Watanuki wondered just how much she'd had to drink before he'd even arrived.

Amazingly, Watanuki's boozehound employer wasn't what annoyed him most at that particular moment. Syaoran looked just as uncomfortable as Watanuki felt, but he wasn't wearing an inch of pink. In fact, he was dressed mostly in black, and the elaborately embroidered cape that completed his outfit only added insult to injury where Watanuki was concerned.

"How come Syaoran's costume is better than mine?"

"Villains always get the coolest clothes," Yuuko said reasonably. "It's an established fact."

"But he has the better staff too!" whined Watanuki. "Why do I have to use the one you gave me? Why couldn't I have borrowed Fai-san's?"

"The staff that belonged to him is an actual device for the amplification of magical power," replied Yuuko. "Who knows what would happen if it fell into the hands of an amateur who can't even control his own latent abilities."

"The one I have is just a toy! And it's a girly toy on top of that!"

"Why the complaints? It fits you perfectly, doesn't it?"

Watanuki disagreed. He vaguely remembered picking up the staff the first time he'd cleaned out Yuuko's storage room and pondering its purpose. There was apparently a real, working version of it out there somewhere (or so Yuuko had claimed), but the only thing Watanuki's copy could do was flash sparkles of light and make repetitive beeping noises.

"So?" he said. "I suppose you're going to charge a fee for letting me borrow this?"

Yuuko winked. "That's my Watanuki. You're always on the ball!"

"And I'll always be stuck working for you, too," Watanuki grumbled. "I'll still be slaving away in your shop when I'm in my fifties!"

"While I'll still be young and beautiful. Isn't life cruel? Now, we're about to begin the first confrontation between Syao-rin and Kimi-puu so take off your glasses."

"Why do I have to do that?"

"Everybody knows that a character's sex appeal increases by around ninety-eight percent whenever they remove their spectacles."

"You mean I was only two percent sexy from the beginning?"

"Don't blame me, it's an established fact. Another one is that every magical girl needs a mascot, and that's where Mokona comes in."

The black Mokona obediently hopped onto Watanuki's shoulder and lifted a paw of acknowledgement. "Yo! Pleased ta be workin' with ya!"

"What's with the Osaka accent?" asked Watanuki, making a face. "And why the fairy wings?"

"Stuff happened! All right!"

Watanuki turned to Yuuko accusingly. "Is this another one of your established facts?"

"No, but it is common knowledge that Japan is the centre of the universe, meaning that it must either be blown or up the last remaining paradise. It's why the climax is going to be filmed at Tokyo Tower, which is of course the symbol of all things Japanese. Honestly, don't you watch television?"

Watanuki didn't respond.

"Anyway," Yuuko pressed on, "I already mentioned that our two main characters are mortal enemies, but their rivalry actually runs much deeper. Kimi-puu and Syao-rin are twin stars, and while Kimi-puu's wish is to protect the Earth, Syao-rin desires to destroy it. Basically, the story is all about choices and destiny, the apocalypse and fan service."

"Fan service?" Watanuki said doubtfully. "How does that fit in with love, friendship and justice?"

"It's part and parcel," Yuuko said confidently. "And when you talk about fan service, maid outfits are a must. Sakura-chan has already completed the nurse's uniform while the white Mokona and I secretly liberated a cheerleader costume from the girls' locker room during lunch."

"Will you stop stealing school property? And wait, I actually have to *wear* those things?"

But Yuuko wasn't listening, and Watanuki could only be swept away by her enthusiasm, stumbling after taking off his glasses as requested, all this while trying to remember his lines and not walk into anything by accident. Actually saying them with a straight face was a challenge, though Syaoran didn't seem to be suffering from Watanuki's shame.

"Wake up and realise that this planet cannot be saved," he said in a perfect monotone, raising his staff in a threatening manner. "Human beings will be wiped out so that the Earth can return to its natural state. Resistance is futile. You have no chance of victory. Join me or perish."

"I-I will never take your side!" Watanuki held up his own staff and made it buzz in warning. "Let us do battle, Evil Sorcerer Syao-rin!"

"Now!" hissed Yuuko. "Do your trademark super hero pose!"

Watanuki lifted one leg, flamingo-style, and raised his left palm as though trying to stop oncoming traffic, then swung his staff blindly in Syaoran's general direction. "Take that! And that! Hyaaah! Uryaaah!"

Syaoran dodged Watanuki's imaginary energy beams, but the chase was over as soon as it had begun. Watanuki tripped over his own two feet and landed flat on his stomach, his breath knocked out of him painfully when Syaoran threw himself on top of him. They wrestled around until Watanuki managed to wriggle away from their compromising position, but Yuuko shouted before he could scrabble for his missing staff.

"Send out the tentacles!"

Mokona, who had been perched up in one of the nearby trees, began dangling what appeared to be bits of old fireman's hose from its vantage point and crying out, "The tentacles are coming, the tentacles are coming!"

"What the hell?" bawled Watanuki, trying and failing to avoid getting whacked in the teeth. "I never heard anything about *this*!"

Syaoran, showing his professional side by remaining in character despite the apparently unplanned chaos, advancing on Watanuki and preparing to deliver the final blow.

"Stop right there."

Doumeki's line really should have required a lot more drama, but since it was Doumeki, it only came out sounding just as monotonous as Syaoran's voice, the only difference being that Doumeki's was slightly deeper.

"Now that an interference has shown itself, I shall retreat for today," said Syaoran, stepping out of range of the camera and looking quite relieved once he'd done so.

"Are you all right?" Doumeki loomed over Watanuki, surprising him when something resembling an actual expression flitted across his features. "By the way, I can see your underwear."

Watanuki went bright pink as he snapped his thighs shut, reminding himself to recite his lines rather than simply screaming at Doumeki for being such a pervert, spitting out the words as though they were poison as he said, "I'm fine. Thanks for your assistance."

He glanced back to see Yuuko miming the act of fainting and he gritted his teeth as he pretended to pass out, staying grudgingly still as Doumeki caught him and swept Watanuki into his arms.

"Okay, cut!"

Even though Yuuko had ended the scene, Doumeki didn't set Watanuki down on the ground where he wanted to be.

"Oi," he said, now thoroughly embarrassed. "You can let me go now."

"The script says I'm supposed to carry you back home," Doumeki stated, and Watanuki growled.

"We're not filming that part! The viewers have to assume that it all happens off-camera!"

But Doumeki didn't release him and Yuuko was already making the others pack up their things so that they could set off for Watanuki's apartment. Doumeki carried him all the way back, ignoring Watanuki's struggles and all the stares they were attracting while Himawari chatted with Syaoran and Yuuko polished off the rest of her alcohol supply.

Fai and Kurogane were expecting their return, and Fai answered the door as they'd rehearsed, although Watanuki couldn't recall Fai wearing a ruffly apron with a picture of a cat printed on it the last time they'd gone through practise.

"Oh, my darling daughter!" he exclaimed, making up for Syaoran and Doumeki's lack of emotion by being completely over the top when it came to delivering his own performance. "Daddy and I were so worried about you!"

"I just happened to be conveniently passing by when I found her," said Doumeki. "I also conveniently happened to know where she lived, even though she and I have never spoken before."

"That *is* convenient," agreed Fai, patting Watanuki on the head before shouting back into the apartment. "Daddy, where are you? Our baby is home!"

'Daddy' had no intention of showing himself, and Watanuki could understand why when Fai eventually succeeded in dragging Kurogane to the door. The horrible green and brown chunky knit sweater that someone (probably Fai) had forced him into was bad enough, and gave the very accurate impression of a man who had been henpecked and married fifty-odd years, the puppy ears did ruin the image just a little (again, it was safe to assume that he'd probably been forced into wearing them by Fai).

Miraculously the glass of the camera lens didn't crack and shatter under the intensity of Kurogane's glare, and he took Watanuki (who had decided it was for the best to keep his eyes shut so that he could avoid any further trauma) from Doumeki with all the grace of a tap-dancing hippo.

"What a relief," was what emerged from his lips, snarling the line rather than speaking it. "As a reward for your goodwill, please allow me to give you my daughter's hand in marriage."

"Excellent, excellent!" said Yuuko. "Now we can skip ahead to the wedding scene!"

"Please tell me you're not seriously planning on continuing this incoherent story full of plot holes and pointlessness," Watanuki pleaded, once Himawari had shut off the camera. "What sort of message is it trying to convey anyway?"

"That love conquers all and good will always triumph over evil," Yuuko answered. "But really, don't worry. Our movie will definitely sell."

"You're going to *sell* this abomination?"

"And show it in theatres. We should make official merchandise, too."

Watanuki didn't want to hear anymore. He was too occupied with planning a one-way trip to a remote island where he'd never have to run into another human being for the rest of his existence.

 

TBC.


End file.
